Saturday 21 August 2010


It's been 62 days since the last blog post. That must be a record for me since the start of my blogging days. I really did mean to put a post up last weekend covering all the events that were going on but I got tied up with other things, so I'll provide a quick summary. We were sitting eating our tea last Friday and we started to hear an alarm - it was coming from Maggie's house across the landing. Getting no answer from her, we phoned 999 and advised there was an alarm but we were convinced she was out. A few minutes later and two engines with the full blue lights and sirens were coming up the wrong way of a one way street - destination Watt Street. One broken door later and there was no smoke and no Maggie for that matter, she was at the Bingo. The alarm turned out to be one of those personal alarms that was hanging on the back of the door that came loose. After a quick repair job, and a visit from the police it was time for Friday night normality. We had a few visitors in for a bit of chat and catch up but this would all end at about 21:44. This was the time Maggie came home. In an effort to prevent a shock when she seen the door, we created a makeshift welcoming party to explian that she hadn't been burgled and all is well as the Fire Brigade left the yale lock on. We were expecting this to be the end of the matter, but the plot thickened. It turned out that the yale lock doesn't get used, as it is permanently jammed, therefore rendering the house unenterable. For the next couple of hours we were in constant conversation with the police station while having no luck getting a 24hr emergency locksmith. A couple of police officers showed up eventually and were left with no option but to kick the door in.

After the faffing about of Friday, Saturday was not much better. The new fish tank had arrived the previous day, and it was time to set up the cabinet and work it where it would be actually going in the room. After a quick few measurements, it turned out to be a bit bigger than previously measured and a rejig of the room was required. Nine hours of moving furniture, emptying cabinets and shelves and refilling them later, the room took a wee bit of shape. Aside from all the crap that was [and still is] in piles on the floor, the room was complete with a slightly different layout.

Sunday was meant to be a good day. The plan was to get the gravel in the tank and start filling with water so it could settle for a few days before adding the fish. I should probably mention, that while all this is going on in the back of the house, the living room has no couch and was getting prepared for a carpet to be lifted. The only sanctity was in the bog. It was time to fill the tank with gravel, only Mr Brightspark here misjudged his calculations again. I was too short and had to try and get to the Linwood Pets at Home on a Sunday using public transport. It turned out to be a lot easier than expected and I got back down the road a few hours later with the gravel in hand. So, tank is placed, gravel is in and we have water on tap - nothing can go wrong now. Well, that's what I thought until Dad highlighted that I didn't have a background in the tank. It was at this point I gave in. A visit to eBay then food.

By now, as the weekend was nearing a close, I was a bit scunnered and not much could improve it. How wrong could I be. While being buried in amongst all my possessions and 999 calls I forgot that I had a fillet in the fridge. As a fat man who eats a lot of meat, I can honestly say I had never eaten fillet steak in my life. It is probably the only cut of cow I haven't consumed. I just took the notion for it midweek and told Big Bird to source me a bit if she was at the butchers. This is one thing about Big Bird, if you set her a mission, she comes up trumps. She had her sights set on the finest that Inverclyde could provide. None of the Tesco or M & S nonsense for her boy. Sunday night's Steak and Chips was provided by none other than Bob Alexander up the port.

WOW!!!!! How come noone has ever told me how good this is. I have not eaten anything like that in my life. It was mealt in the mouth. I plated it up with southern fries and sweetcorn.

With the weekend over, it was time for work and not a drop of water had entered the tank. It was now a waiting game.

Fast forward to this weekend and it was all systems go. The background is in place and the tank has been filled with water (in truth it has been refilled with water. The first lot had to get emptied as we have a squinty floor). The decor is in place and the fish have flitted and been welcomed by their new buddy. So here is the gang.

So that was that. After two mad weekends, we have a new carpet, a new sofa, new house for the fish and we still have a next door neighbour. I need a day in my bed.

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